04022020

Assalamualaikum wrbt,

That day is tomorrow, and tomorrow I am gonna turn 31!

THREE DECADES

AND ONE YEAR.

And I already forgot how it feels to be in the 20s. Anyway, my sweet husband told me last week that he already bought the birthday present. He hinted to me that he hid in somewhere in the house. But I don't bother to search for it. I want to be genuinely surprised so I can give him a genuine expression when he gives it to me.

He lovessss surprises. He loves seeing people's expressions.

And I am totally the opposite. Like totally totally. I can be expressionless sometimes. And I kinda have delayed reactions most of the times. I am okay with receiving surprises and good surprises are lovely. But to plan any? I am not confident enough (or maybe not smart enough?). I will doubt my choices, and be very afraid of the outcome. Will it be well-received? Will it be enough? Will they need it? Will I disappoint? Or will I be disappointed? Oh hey let's skip to the over-thinking vicious cycle and save all the troubles and just ask that person what they want. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. At least they WILL get nearly what they really want/love. More economical and practical liddat.

Sorry -_-'

For the reaction & expression part, I promise I'll improve, ok? I'll try my best :B

But for planning a surprise, maybe not this year.. maybe when I am so much wiser (and capable economically) XD

Alhamdulillah for this life. Baiknya Allah masih beri kesempatan. Kesempatan apa? Kesempatan untuk mengumpul amal. Ya Allah berilah kudrat untuk mengabdi padaMu dan hati yang taqarrub kepadaMu.

So much to be grateful for, yet I can be so ungrateful sometimes. Astaghfirullah.

I received so much loves from people around me, yet sometimes I took them for granted. (As I'm writing these, I already got a few friends asking about celebrating my birthday. Oh my heart.. I don't deserve them..)

I have an able body and time freedom to do so many good things and benefit others, yet I didn't manage those very well.. Forgive me Ya Allah..

To be honest, these few weeks, I haven't been managing my life very well. See, I am already in my last semester and my progress is way tooo slow. I still have 2 papers to submit and my thesis is still in skeleton mode. I should be so ashamed of myself right about now. I know I only have myself to blame, but let's not waste anymore time by dwelling on failures, and keep reminding myself by the seconds, and restart whenever I am reminded..

Anyway, when talking about being progressive, I sometimes think there are so many part of me that is still considered immature. Or maybe inexperienced? I need to work faster, achieve more, so that I can go out more and thus, experience more.

So, now, WORK!

Ps. Munirah is flying to Mekah today for her umrah. Alhamdulillah so happy for her and wishing all the good things for her

Pss. Yesterday's date is a palindrome! 02022020