Impress

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamualaikum.

I remembered those days when I used to update several times a day. It's one of the ways for me to reconnect with myself. I used to be so worked out thinking that I am not so good in communication. I am so socially awkward. I wished I could be (at least, look) natural. I went on auto-pilot more than you would imagine. That explains why I could slipped out a 'thank you' while greeting (read: berlaga pipi) a friend instead of saying something like 'Hi, how are you?' (embarrassing moments).

I like being around friends but then it would drain out my energy so bad. I would need some me-time to recuperate. I used to imagine a scenario that (I think) could/would happens in future and keep making a play inside my mind, practicing what I would say and react then. I lived my life trying to impress people, trying so hard not to look too awkward or weird. I felt the need to fit in.

But now, all I want is to direct myself and keep reminding myself that it is Allah only that I need to impress. Allah, and only Allah. No matter how forgetful I could get, I want to keep being reminded. Cause chasing on people is a waste of time. You could fight your life away just to impress somebody, only to end up being left eventually, draining away all your hard-earned confidence and self-esteem.

Feelings are temporary. Life is temporary. This Dunya is temporary. Nothing lasts. People change.  People will even forget you one day. Even memories fade away.

"So if you're chasing a feeling, you'll always be chasing"
-This is Love by Y. Mogahed

Psst: I've just recently added Life is Like a Boat by Rie Fu, just becausee..