Rational

Bismillah and Assalamualaikum.

Everyone is in a constant battle within self

I used to see myself as someone who is very rational (taktahulah kalau aku perasan lebih ke tak). And I used to wonder how could someone actually have the heart to act irrationally, be selfish and choose to hurt others. Worse come to worst, I would only be crying alone or crying myself to sleep or if I'm lucky enough, on someone else's shoulder (those were the days when I were surrounded with compassionate friends and acq.). But that was definitely years ago. Nowadays, it's getting harder and harder for me to rationalize myself. I need way longer time to be able to calm myself down when negative feelings hit me. And I feel like sulking and giving up and being negative more and more frequent now. I hate this feeling. Being rational have been something so distant from me. Are things really getting tougher, or my heart is getting weaker? Or should I say.. harder?

Mungkin dulu dosa tak sebanyak sekarang.

Astagfirullah.. Guide me Ya Allah.. don't let me go astray.. I need You.. :(

Next time when we see someone, let's ask ourselves,

"What has he done secretly to please Allah? Is it better than mine?"